I came here by way of Aimee Liu’s latest article and am glad to make your acquaintance. Your story is fascinating—especially the heated but civil debates you had with your father. (I know Limbaugh—the host parents who welcomed me when I first arrived in the States as a college student used to rave about his radio shows… over the decades, they have become right-wing Christian evangelicals.) In my culture (Chinese), we were not allowed to disagree with or “talk back” to our elders. So I never had a chance to learn to speak up for myself and my own perspectives. That’s why your story opened my eyes!
I resonate with this sentiment you described toward the end: “This type of dual reality is the new reality. One where life goes on as if it’s normal, while life is not normal at all.” It feels surreal to live in this kind of reality. But like it or not, it is here already.
Hi Lily and do glad you found me through Aimee. She’s been an amazing mentor and I was really honored to be featured in her recent piece.
It’s fascinating to me to think about growing up in a culture where you couldn’t voice your opinions to your parents. I wonder if you have been able to overcome that as an adult?
I lived in Korea a couple years in the Army and while I realize Korea and China are different, there’s a similar deferential respect for elders and an expectation that children will not dissent.
“Talking back,” I think was actually so critical to developing my own thoughts and independence. It’s like I figured out who I was by debating and disagreeing on everything under the sun.
And because my father had the same personality he wasn’t threatened by my outspokenness and it was never squashed. It’s interesting that his conservative views never made him try to constrain me. In fact he has always been very supportive of all of my independent endeavors.
Hi Amy, I find it fascinating to be allowed to grow up in such an environment. It’s totally foreign to me. That’s why your story is so eye-opening to me. The freedom to express one’s views freely and to debate openly was perhaps the greatest allure that America held for me—it offered the kind of freedom I could only dream of. (Alas, we’re rapidly losing it!)
Yes, the Korean and Chinese mentalities are quite similar in that regard. In fact, in most Asian countries, respect for the elders is considered one of the highest virtues, and children are conditioned to simply obey and allow parents to make decisions for their lives. My situation was worse, because my mom grew up in Mao’s China, so having a singular dominant voice was the rule of the game. At my home, she monopolized that voice. It was only recently, through therapy and self studies, that I started to listen to my inner voice. Still learning to speak up for myself and not collapse from fear and shame! Unfortunately, I’m still unable to express myself fully (especially opinions of dissent, as in the current political debate) with my mom.
Wow. I love that learning to voice your opinions is a journey you’re on and that it brought you to America. And you’re making me realize even more how American freedom to voice our opinions is so ingrained in us that we actually value a certain degree of dissent in our children.
Like I’d love it if my teenager was a bit more obedient, but I also feel proud when she dismisses me and voices her own decisions about how she wants to live her life.
And with my parents, It never even occurs to me to not say what I think or do what I want.
I’m sorry you’ve had that as a start in life and excited for how you’re opening up to listen to your inner voice which I think provides the greatest peace for all of us.
Thank you for your encouraging words! Yes, the freedom that Americans have enjoyed up to now is something that many around the world covet. I pray and hope that it will not be squandered away or destroyed. I am grateful for this interesting exchange, which allowed me to see a completely different kind of family dynamics and what is actually possible!
One thing that stood out to me that I keep thinking about too is this weird dual reality we’re living in where we still have to work our jobs and tend to our kids and make dinner and live while the entire country seems to be collapsing. Going between building a patio and texting your dad about bullets for a civil war is a good example.
Ya it’s a weird space to be living isn’t it? Like you can’t decide if you’re overreacting or there’s actually a crisis or not. And you walk around preparing as if a natural disaster might occur at any moment.
Be a Zelensky says it all! Today is the start of the Orange Revolution, which I have named to honor Ukraine, Zelensky and the protesters who rallied for two weeks after the 2004 Ukraine election which was rigged for the Putin backed stooge. The Ukrainian Supreme Court said “niet,” and called another election. The defeated candidate, Vushchenko, won by 52% and was inaugurated in Jan 2005, paving the way for democracy. His campaign color was orange. Hope to see everyone at their state capitols protesting dictator orange make up man on Tuesday. I’m a Vietnam veteran who fought in that civil war where we should have never been, like most of them since WWII. I’m sick of these twits, so Zelensky up everybody because we’ve got to turn the world back ride side up! Dig your sauna!😤😄
This is a thought-provoking article. The direction our country is heading in doesn’t seem very democratic. These trends will likely persist for the next four years, but they will ease up after the mid-term elections. In my opinion, things won’t reach the level you described, but that’s just my take on it. I do admire your courage in staying true to your beliefs since childhood and your willingness to fight for the country.
After the LA protests,I am re-reading your article. As it was predicted the protest have begun and military is getting deployed. i’m hoping that this does not spread beyond LA and settles soon. 🙏
Sameer, I wouldn’t count on that. At present we may not even have 2026 elections! If you want to see what’s happened in just a month sign up free to my substack, bobswandby@substack.com and read my latest,”Smoke, Mirrors, Lies and Deceit; Trump’s assault on the Constitution and Rule of Law.” There are a couple of economic updates as well
I agree with Bob and also do recommend checking out his essays. We’re now like a drowning victim caught in a fast moving river. It would take massive intervention to pull us free at this point.
Amy, thank you for this. I have this feeling of standing on a crack in the earth that’s beginning to open up, yet I’m still trying to have a foot on either side, hoping that I can somehow keep it from widening. This is an unreal feeling we’re all having, in a hyper real moment.
And I worry about everyone, including me, who’re voicing these feelings here on Substack. Are we painting targets on our backs as a result of saying these things? That won’t change my need to say them, but since the future is about as opaque as its ever been in living memory, one wonders.
The one that floats to the surface first is fiscal. That’s the “easiest” one to implement now. Boycott the tech bros’ companies and any others that bend the knee.
Bombard R congressmen and senators all day, all night, demonstrating, showing up at town halls, flooding their call lines, writing emails, launching massive demonstrations at state capitols and on the mall.
Judicial, that’s harder - there is no quick path to affect SCOTUS. Of necessity in any government, the wheels of justice move slowly. If they moved quickly, they’d quickly come off. That said, SCOTUS should be reminded of who exactly it is they serve. Half of them have either forgotten or planned this outright.
The world boycotting us is going to drive Trumpco even farther off the rails, and that boycott will hurt everyone, not just the Maggots. The US, for the first time in its short life, is going to learn, up close and personal, what it’s like to be “sanctioned”.
I’m planting my garden. I’m going to build a sauna too! You’ve inspired me :) I’m connecting with friends and family. I’m trying to learn all I can about what our government is and is not allowed to do.
Dictatorships never last, and their end is usually very public and very ugly (see Mussolini: gas station).
Beth, this is ALLsage advice we can all accomplish even if we do it a few pieces each day. We can make a list and tick off the boxes piece by piece until we’ve done everything we can do one step at a time day by day. (Day 1-sell stock. Day 2-stop Amazon subscriptions. Day 3 call representatives. Day 4 self care. Day 5. Repeats some version of day 1…
And glad you’re getting a sauna too. Just wait for the wood fired hot tub. It’s next on my self care list.
Thanks Amy. I need a plan in my head of actionable items, otherwise depression creeps in and that does no one good. I’ll leave you be (to take that sauna!) but I wanted to share a video a friend of mine just sent which is rather mind blowing. Stick with it - it reveals some fascinating things about human behavior.
Can’t imagine what a refugee from America would look like. I suppose maybe what the refugees from Syria, Gaza, Myanmar, Vietnam, Cuba, China, Ukraine, Africa, Russia, Cambodia, Mexico, Croatia, Germany………FDT FJDV FMAGATs FKash Fmush FRussian GOP MFERS!! ☠️
The MIC has the military, law enforcement agencies, and border. Them Border Patrol not only keep people out but will prevent people from leaving. Who’s gonna work for the Russian GOP, they need slaves…….. now that is kina far out But who knows? Every dominant player need slaves.
Prepare and Protect yourself and loved ones……the Magat in Chief die now!!
Amy, though I am considerably older, your family history and described political rhetoric resembles mine. I grew up rooting for Civil Rights leaders at the time my Father was calling MLK a communist. I was a militant and proud woman’s libber (still am). While being registered as a Republican, I became a Moderate who voted both sides of the political street all my life.
Today, there are no grays in political discourse. No moderation. When someone on the far right leans in I’m saying more and more “one of us is right (inferring that it’s not them) because there is no discourse in this poisonous environment of disinformation. Only a hard black line marking stark division. It’s frightening.
If I were younger I would live anywhere else but here. I have nothing but disdain and seething hatred for Trump, Fox ‘News’, his appointed thugs and sycophants. There will be a special place in hell for all of them.
Thank you for your service to our Country that was.
Kathleen thank you for reading and supporting and sharing your story. What’s happening now is the opposite of opposing dialogue which we’re both familiar with. It’s stamping out the left and removing all the guard rails to ensure absolute power. Our country moves forward when we disagree and find a way through the middle. What’s happening now is only one side taking all the power and removing anyone who dissents. Exactly the opposite of what America and democracy stand for. I’m saddened, ashamed, and anxious about our future.
I’m absolutely sure and terrified you and your dad and Steve Schmidt are right. All signs point to martial law as soon as the protests heat up. And then…. It’s the playbook and our side is not ready
Yes, exactly my concerns. First time I want to be proven wrong. Please let something stop this trajectory. And the other part my dad said which I didn’t include—“your side doesn’t have the guns. You can’t win.”
Amy, I enjoyed your essay. I hope you continue to write. My son and his family lived in Findlay Lake for several years while he worked as a Deputy Sheriff in North East. He moved to Florida with his family to care for his Mother in law who suffered a stroke. I had hoped to slow down as I and wife have moved into our eighties, but the financial risk means more gardening, more orchard, more do it yourself home repair. It’s good to have a chance to chat.
Hi Joseph, yes I will be continuing to write regularly and am glad to have connected with you. Keep following. And yes Noth East is very close to where I’m from. Meadville. I also went to college in Edinboro all in that area. Hang in there and good to have a wise octogenarian in my feed.
I was sure, while reading your words, that, in the end, your father and Ronald Reagan Republican, would have become your ally. So sad for you, but thank you for your courage and insight.
Margy I wish that we’re the case, but it’s an example of how we need to maintain our relationships even in this climate. Because alienating people we love but disagree with will only push us closer to war.
I just don't see it becoming an armed conflict between opposing citizen ideologies. Not at all.
The war will be an attempted coup, not a civil war.
And there's no way one could get even CLOSE to tyrants in power. UNLESS the mil stands up for its oath instead of blind fielty to an autocrat.
Unfortunately though, in the rank and file, there are too many MAGAs, similarly in the local authorities, FBI, etc, to produce any sort of cohesive MASS coup against the tyrants.
I pray there won't be but if the fascists and their minions are not marginalized by the actions of other countries I fear there will be only two choices.
Acquiesce for 4 years or fight.
But even if we survive this round, there's the army of religious nationalists poised to back the next one and the next one and the next who steps up from Congress to take their shot after reading thd Autocrat 101 Primer.
MAGATs have been ready for a long time. Crockpots….looking for a fight. Don’t you think? Secret combinations are in your face now and not secret at all. Already experienced, explained by Ether many, many years ago.
I’ve also been thinking of the duality. “Cabaret” comes to mind. Thank you.
I just had to look up what “Cabaret”is and find a wonderful musical that does feel appropriately parallel.
Also “fiddling while Rome burns”
I came here by way of Aimee Liu’s latest article and am glad to make your acquaintance. Your story is fascinating—especially the heated but civil debates you had with your father. (I know Limbaugh—the host parents who welcomed me when I first arrived in the States as a college student used to rave about his radio shows… over the decades, they have become right-wing Christian evangelicals.) In my culture (Chinese), we were not allowed to disagree with or “talk back” to our elders. So I never had a chance to learn to speak up for myself and my own perspectives. That’s why your story opened my eyes!
I resonate with this sentiment you described toward the end: “This type of dual reality is the new reality. One where life goes on as if it’s normal, while life is not normal at all.” It feels surreal to live in this kind of reality. But like it or not, it is here already.
Hi Lily and do glad you found me through Aimee. She’s been an amazing mentor and I was really honored to be featured in her recent piece.
It’s fascinating to me to think about growing up in a culture where you couldn’t voice your opinions to your parents. I wonder if you have been able to overcome that as an adult?
I lived in Korea a couple years in the Army and while I realize Korea and China are different, there’s a similar deferential respect for elders and an expectation that children will not dissent.
“Talking back,” I think was actually so critical to developing my own thoughts and independence. It’s like I figured out who I was by debating and disagreeing on everything under the sun.
And because my father had the same personality he wasn’t threatened by my outspokenness and it was never squashed. It’s interesting that his conservative views never made him try to constrain me. In fact he has always been very supportive of all of my independent endeavors.
Hi Amy, I find it fascinating to be allowed to grow up in such an environment. It’s totally foreign to me. That’s why your story is so eye-opening to me. The freedom to express one’s views freely and to debate openly was perhaps the greatest allure that America held for me—it offered the kind of freedom I could only dream of. (Alas, we’re rapidly losing it!)
Yes, the Korean and Chinese mentalities are quite similar in that regard. In fact, in most Asian countries, respect for the elders is considered one of the highest virtues, and children are conditioned to simply obey and allow parents to make decisions for their lives. My situation was worse, because my mom grew up in Mao’s China, so having a singular dominant voice was the rule of the game. At my home, she monopolized that voice. It was only recently, through therapy and self studies, that I started to listen to my inner voice. Still learning to speak up for myself and not collapse from fear and shame! Unfortunately, I’m still unable to express myself fully (especially opinions of dissent, as in the current political debate) with my mom.
Wow. I love that learning to voice your opinions is a journey you’re on and that it brought you to America. And you’re making me realize even more how American freedom to voice our opinions is so ingrained in us that we actually value a certain degree of dissent in our children.
Like I’d love it if my teenager was a bit more obedient, but I also feel proud when she dismisses me and voices her own decisions about how she wants to live her life.
And with my parents, It never even occurs to me to not say what I think or do what I want.
I’m sorry you’ve had that as a start in life and excited for how you’re opening up to listen to your inner voice which I think provides the greatest peace for all of us.
Thank you for your encouraging words! Yes, the freedom that Americans have enjoyed up to now is something that many around the world covet. I pray and hope that it will not be squandered away or destroyed. I am grateful for this interesting exchange, which allowed me to see a completely different kind of family dynamics and what is actually possible!
One thing that stood out to me that I keep thinking about too is this weird dual reality we’re living in where we still have to work our jobs and tend to our kids and make dinner and live while the entire country seems to be collapsing. Going between building a patio and texting your dad about bullets for a civil war is a good example.
Ya it’s a weird space to be living isn’t it? Like you can’t decide if you’re overreacting or there’s actually a crisis or not. And you walk around preparing as if a natural disaster might occur at any moment.
Be a Zelensky says it all! Today is the start of the Orange Revolution, which I have named to honor Ukraine, Zelensky and the protesters who rallied for two weeks after the 2004 Ukraine election which was rigged for the Putin backed stooge. The Ukrainian Supreme Court said “niet,” and called another election. The defeated candidate, Vushchenko, won by 52% and was inaugurated in Jan 2005, paving the way for democracy. His campaign color was orange. Hope to see everyone at their state capitols protesting dictator orange make up man on Tuesday. I’m a Vietnam veteran who fought in that civil war where we should have never been, like most of them since WWII. I’m sick of these twits, so Zelensky up everybody because we’ve got to turn the world back ride side up! Dig your sauna!😤😄
Thanks Bob. Subscribed to your Substack and would love to hear more. Thanks for your service and much agreed on should have never been in Vietnam.
This is a thought-provoking article. The direction our country is heading in doesn’t seem very democratic. These trends will likely persist for the next four years, but they will ease up after the mid-term elections. In my opinion, things won’t reach the level you described, but that’s just my take on it. I do admire your courage in staying true to your beliefs since childhood and your willingness to fight for the country.
Sameer thank you and I really hope you’re right and the midterms will ease some of this freight train of oppression.
After the LA protests,I am re-reading your article. As it was predicted the protest have begun and military is getting deployed. i’m hoping that this does not spread beyond LA and settles soon. 🙏
Sameer, I wouldn’t count on that. At present we may not even have 2026 elections! If you want to see what’s happened in just a month sign up free to my substack, bobswandby@substack.com and read my latest,”Smoke, Mirrors, Lies and Deceit; Trump’s assault on the Constitution and Rule of Law.” There are a couple of economic updates as well
I agree with Bob and also do recommend checking out his essays. We’re now like a drowning victim caught in a fast moving river. It would take massive intervention to pull us free at this point.
Amy, thank you for this. I have this feeling of standing on a crack in the earth that’s beginning to open up, yet I’m still trying to have a foot on either side, hoping that I can somehow keep it from widening. This is an unreal feeling we’re all having, in a hyper real moment.
And I worry about everyone, including me, who’re voicing these feelings here on Substack. Are we painting targets on our backs as a result of saying these things? That won’t change my need to say them, but since the future is about as opaque as its ever been in living memory, one wonders.
Yes I know the target feeling. But I’d rather be a target than someone who sat quietly while the Republic burned. I’ll go down fighting.
I understand. I feel the same. For me the main thing is to figure out the most EFFECTIVE ways of combatting this.
Let me know when you figure it out. I’m all ears.
The one that floats to the surface first is fiscal. That’s the “easiest” one to implement now. Boycott the tech bros’ companies and any others that bend the knee.
Bombard R congressmen and senators all day, all night, demonstrating, showing up at town halls, flooding their call lines, writing emails, launching massive demonstrations at state capitols and on the mall.
Judicial, that’s harder - there is no quick path to affect SCOTUS. Of necessity in any government, the wheels of justice move slowly. If they moved quickly, they’d quickly come off. That said, SCOTUS should be reminded of who exactly it is they serve. Half of them have either forgotten or planned this outright.
The world boycotting us is going to drive Trumpco even farther off the rails, and that boycott will hurt everyone, not just the Maggots. The US, for the first time in its short life, is going to learn, up close and personal, what it’s like to be “sanctioned”.
I’m planting my garden. I’m going to build a sauna too! You’ve inspired me :) I’m connecting with friends and family. I’m trying to learn all I can about what our government is and is not allowed to do.
Dictatorships never last, and their end is usually very public and very ugly (see Mussolini: gas station).
Beth, this is ALLsage advice we can all accomplish even if we do it a few pieces each day. We can make a list and tick off the boxes piece by piece until we’ve done everything we can do one step at a time day by day. (Day 1-sell stock. Day 2-stop Amazon subscriptions. Day 3 call representatives. Day 4 self care. Day 5. Repeats some version of day 1…
And glad you’re getting a sauna too. Just wait for the wood fired hot tub. It’s next on my self care list.
Thanks Amy. I need a plan in my head of actionable items, otherwise depression creeps in and that does no one good. I’ll leave you be (to take that sauna!) but I wanted to share a video a friend of mine just sent which is rather mind blowing. Stick with it - it reveals some fascinating things about human behavior.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mScpHTIi-kM
Can’t imagine what a refugee from America would look like. I suppose maybe what the refugees from Syria, Gaza, Myanmar, Vietnam, Cuba, China, Ukraine, Africa, Russia, Cambodia, Mexico, Croatia, Germany………FDT FJDV FMAGATs FKash Fmush FRussian GOP MFERS!! ☠️
I hadn’t even thought that far down the pike. But you’re right, if violence erupts, we’d surely have American refugees fleeing for safety. Wow.
The MIC has the military, law enforcement agencies, and border. Them Border Patrol not only keep people out but will prevent people from leaving. Who’s gonna work for the Russian GOP, they need slaves…….. now that is kina far out But who knows? Every dominant player need slaves.
Prepare and Protect yourself and loved ones……the Magat in Chief die now!!
So glad you found your space here - so proud of you and honored to be on your lineup!
Thank you Jessica. Thanks for reading and thanks for sharing.
Amy, though I am considerably older, your family history and described political rhetoric resembles mine. I grew up rooting for Civil Rights leaders at the time my Father was calling MLK a communist. I was a militant and proud woman’s libber (still am). While being registered as a Republican, I became a Moderate who voted both sides of the political street all my life.
Today, there are no grays in political discourse. No moderation. When someone on the far right leans in I’m saying more and more “one of us is right (inferring that it’s not them) because there is no discourse in this poisonous environment of disinformation. Only a hard black line marking stark division. It’s frightening.
If I were younger I would live anywhere else but here. I have nothing but disdain and seething hatred for Trump, Fox ‘News’, his appointed thugs and sycophants. There will be a special place in hell for all of them.
Thank you for your service to our Country that was.
Kathleen thank you for reading and supporting and sharing your story. What’s happening now is the opposite of opposing dialogue which we’re both familiar with. It’s stamping out the left and removing all the guard rails to ensure absolute power. Our country moves forward when we disagree and find a way through the middle. What’s happening now is only one side taking all the power and removing anyone who dissents. Exactly the opposite of what America and democracy stand for. I’m saddened, ashamed, and anxious about our future.
You are spot on.
I’m absolutely sure and terrified you and your dad and Steve Schmidt are right. All signs point to martial law as soon as the protests heat up. And then…. It’s the playbook and our side is not ready
Yes, exactly my concerns. First time I want to be proven wrong. Please let something stop this trajectory. And the other part my dad said which I didn’t include—“your side doesn’t have the guns. You can’t win.”
This is the second layer of chilling reality.
I think this all the time. They want this to happen
Ya same. It’s all part of the plan.
And their vigilantes/cells have been preparing for years—in plain sight. Did you see this: https://wargamefilm.com/
Gulp. No I haven’t but I’ll watch it tonight. Have you seen the film civil war that came out last year. Similar predictive premise.
Another big gulp. This planning explains the assault on DEI. Prepare to persecute by isolating the targets. Many of whom…are armed and ex military.
Amy, I enjoyed your essay. I hope you continue to write. My son and his family lived in Findlay Lake for several years while he worked as a Deputy Sheriff in North East. He moved to Florida with his family to care for his Mother in law who suffered a stroke. I had hoped to slow down as I and wife have moved into our eighties, but the financial risk means more gardening, more orchard, more do it yourself home repair. It’s good to have a chance to chat.
Hi Joseph, yes I will be continuing to write regularly and am glad to have connected with you. Keep following. And yes Noth East is very close to where I’m from. Meadville. I also went to college in Edinboro all in that area. Hang in there and good to have a wise octogenarian in my feed.
Franklin said we had a republic, if we could keep it. He might be surprised how long we have persisted.
I was sure, while reading your words, that, in the end, your father and Ronald Reagan Republican, would have become your ally. So sad for you, but thank you for your courage and insight.
Margy I wish that we’re the case, but it’s an example of how we need to maintain our relationships even in this climate. Because alienating people we love but disagree with will only push us closer to war.
I just don't see it becoming an armed conflict between opposing citizen ideologies. Not at all.
The war will be an attempted coup, not a civil war.
And there's no way one could get even CLOSE to tyrants in power. UNLESS the mil stands up for its oath instead of blind fielty to an autocrat.
Unfortunately though, in the rank and file, there are too many MAGAs, similarly in the local authorities, FBI, etc, to produce any sort of cohesive MASS coup against the tyrants.
I pray there won't be but if the fascists and their minions are not marginalized by the actions of other countries I fear there will be only two choices.
Acquiesce for 4 years or fight.
But even if we survive this round, there's the army of religious nationalists poised to back the next one and the next one and the next who steps up from Congress to take their shot after reading thd Autocrat 101 Primer.
MAGATs have been ready for a long time. Crockpots….looking for a fight. Don’t you think? Secret combinations are in your face now and not secret at all. Already experienced, explained by Ether many, many years ago.
indivisible.org